Snow-covered cactus is a rarity in Phoenix
So if you have the pleasure of residing in Phoenix, Arizona, you probably know that radio station 99.9 KEZ took great pride this year in unleashing Christmas upon us earlier than ever, by beginning to play round-the-clock Christmas carols on Friday, November 7. Yes, you read that correctly, November SEVENTH! Not the traditional day after Thanksgiving. Not even early, as in a week before Thanksgiving. No…they got started a full three weeks before Thanksgiving.
Maybe it’s because we so rarely see snow here in the desert. According to Bill Bellis, meteorologist for ABC 15 News:
The greatest amount of snow ever recorded at the official reporting station here in Phoenix was 1.0 inch on January 20th 1933, and on January 21st and 22nd 1937.
Other times measurable snow was recorded include:
- 0.5 inches on February 2nd 1939
- 0.4 inches on December 21st and 22nd 1990
- 0.2 inches March 12th 1917
- 0.1 inches on November 28th 1919
- 0.1 inches on December 11th 1985
The most recent snowfall that is considered significant, below 2,000 feet, was on December 6th 1998.
Regardless of the reason, for even the most ardent Christmas lover, I’ve gotta tell you (and the KEZ program director) that November 7th is just too freaking EARLY for Christmas carols.
What’s more . . . we put up with more than 50 days of Christmas carols before we finally got to THE day, and guess what. I think the poor DJ who had the Christmas evening shift on KEZ was so burned out by then that he/she didn’t even make it all the way to midnight. They were back to regular programming by 11 p.m. (or perhaps earlier, as that was when I turned on my radio).
Enjoying carols through the WHOLE holiday season
That made me sad. I mean, why is it that we’re force-fed carols for nearly two months in preparation, but we don’t even make it all the way through the DAY of Christmas, let alone the day or two afterward? You’ve heard of the song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” right? Many traditions believe the Christmas season continues till January 6, the feast of the Three Kings, also known as the Epiphany.
At any rate, all this thinking about songs got me to wondering how many Christmas carols feature my favorite Christmas tradition, the Christmas stocking.
Here, in alphabetical order, are the partial lyrics to all the songs I could find that contain a mention of Christmas stockings.
I’ve marked the line before and after, and highlighted the word “stocking” for easy reference.
DISCLAIMER: Please be aware of several things.
(1) This list may not be complete. If you know of any songs I have missed, please e-mail me or post a comment and I’ll get your song added to the list.
(2) I haven’t heard of a lot of these songs . . . but I trusted my ever-knowledgeable Internet.
(3) Some of these songs contain profanity or objectionable imagery. I honestly went back and forth about whether or not to include them, but as I do not favor or condone censorship under any circumstances, it seemed hypocritical to then censor my own blog because some reader might be offended. I’ll mark the offending lyrics with a big CR for “creepy” or “crude” so you can know to skip them if you think they will offend . . . but please know they are included. If you’re perusing this site with your kids, just be aware.
(4) There are 38 songs total, so I’ve broken he list into 3 parts: 1-12, 13-24, and 25-38.
All I Want for Christmas Is You
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU
Mariah Carey/Vince Vance and the Valiants
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There’s just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is…You
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There’s just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don’t need to hang my STOCKING
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won’t make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You baby
Bad News
Cashing in on Christmas
Hear those cash tills ring
Jingle bells make money
Everybody sing
[Little girls’ voice]
I want to wake up on Christmas morning
With the snow all over the ground
With Bad News’ Christmas single in my STOCKING
It only costs just over a pound
Hello, this is Den Dennis
I hope you’re all having a very merry Christmas
This is our Christmas single, please buy it and make it number one
For our Christmas fun
CHILD OF WINTER
Caesar/Beach Boys
A child of winter
A child of the snow
I’m making a snowball
That someone will throw
I’m making a snowman
With charcoal for the eyes
A scarf draped in red
And a derby on his head
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus
Right down Santa Claus Lane
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer are pulling on the reins
Bells are ringing, children singing
All is merry and bright
Hang your STOCKINGS and say your prayers
‘Cause Santa Claus comes tonight
The evening of Christmas
Presents have been passed
The wood in the fireplace
Is glowing its last
I’m closing my eyes now
In my bed I’m snuggling
Outside my window
The carolers sing
Christmas comes and the snow covers all
Trees are decorated with tinsel and lights
Mama’s in the kitchen making cookies and bread
The children are hungry, they’re waiting to be fed
The McGuire Sisters
C is for the candy trimmed around the Christmas tree
H is for the happiness with all the family
R is for the reindeer prancing by the window pane
I is for the icing on the cake as sweet as sugar cane
S is for the STOCKING on the chimney wall
T is the toys beneath the tree so tall
M is for the mistletoe where ev’ry one is kissed
A is for the angels who make up the Christmas list
S is for old Santa who makes ev’ry kid his pet
Be good and he’ll bring you ev’rything in your Christmas alphabet
Ali Lohan
Can’t wait ‘till Christmas
Macy’s parade has come and gone
Time to sing those Christmas songs
It’s my favorite time of year
Spread the love and holiday cheer
Put up the tree
The holly and the ivy
Cause it’s almost Christmas day
On the rooftop reindeer pause (here comes Santa Claus)
Down the chimney comes Santa Claus bringing cheer and lots of joy
With the children’s Christmas toys
Let’s build a fire
Sing carols with the choir
Cause it’s almost Christmas day
Christmas bells are ringing, carolers are singing (Christmas day)
Christmas day is getting near
Celebrate the season with a special reason (Christmas day)
Jolly St. Nick will be here
Christmas lights are glowing winter wind is blowing (Christmas day)
Hang the candy canes on the tree
It’s fun to remember memories in December
STOCKINGS hung on the chimney
Put up the tree
The holly and the ivy
Cause it’s almost Christmas day
Michael W. Smith
Snow covered rooftops
Lights on the trees
The sound of singing
I hear down every street
Families have gathered from miles away
Oh, Merry Christmas
It’s Christmas day
You see that old tree
Down cotton lane
Those lights keep shining
It’s always the same
We hear the church bells
Ring out to say
Oh, Merry Christmas
It’s Christmas day
Oh, Merry Christmas
It’s Christmas day
See the lights and hang the STOCKINGS
Decorate with green and red
Make the cookies for old Santa
Made a runway for his sled
Singing carols on a sleigh ride
Gather round the manger scene
Open the presents and read the letter
And together we will sing
Oh, Merry Christmas
Joy to the world
For every nation
For every boy and girl
Let’s light a candle
For peace we pray
Oh, Merry Christmas
It’s Christmas day
It’s Christmas day
It’s Christmas day
Ohhhh, let’s light a candle
For peace we pray
Oh, Merry Christmas
It’s Christmas day
Jimmy Buffet
Christmas in the Caribbean
Snowbirds fill the air
Christmas in the Caribbean
Lots of presents everywhere
We don’t live in a hurry
Send away for mistletoe
Christmas in the Caribbean
We got everything but snow.
Lights are glowing in the palm trees
STOCKINGS hanging from mast
Santa’s riding on a dolphin
Don’t you want to make it,
Don’t you want to make it last?
Christmas in the Caribbean
Snowbirds fill the air
Christmas in the Caribbean
Lots of presents everywhere
We don’t live in a hurry
Send away for mistletoe
Christmas in the Caribbean
We got everything but snow.
Sun-tanned children sleeping
Hoping Santa will come through
Christmas morning boy they’re leaping
Oh, it’s Bubba’s birthday
Mr. Buffett’s birthday, too!
Jimmy Buffett (Lyle Moraine)
Let’s get away from sleigh bells, let’s get away from snow
Let’s make a break some Christmas, dear, I know the place to go
How’d ya like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How’d ya like to spend the holiday away across the sea?
How’d ya like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How’d ya like to hang a STOCKING on a great big coconut tree?
How’d ya like to stay up late, like the islanders do?
Wait for Santa to sail in with your presents in a canoe
If you ever spend Christmas on Christmas Island
You will never stray for everyday
Your Christmas dreams come true
Alabama
There’s a blanket of snow coverin’ up the old road
to the house where I was raised
Through the window I see the lights on the tree
and a glow from the old fireplace
Though it all looks the same so much has changed
from the way it used to be
Christmas memories of happy years gone by
They come back to me and keep me warm inside
Still those Christmas memories make me cry
Now the STOCKINGS are filled;
the house is still and the kids are dreamin’ away
There’s that old easy chair,
me and Daddy sat there waitin’ for Santa’s sleigh
Now Daddy’s gone but we carry on
’cause the little ones will need…
Christmas memories of happy years gone by
They come back to me and keep me warm inside
Oh they mean so much to me
Those Christmas memories make me cry
Slim Dusty
Ohh, we won’t have no sleigh ride
We’ll go swimming in the creek
But all the kids and relations
Who are staying for a week
The campfire’s blazing brightly
Steak on the barbecue
Welcome all the neighbors in
Were putting on a do
There’s going to be dancing and singing
At the old homestead tonight
Going to be carols ringing
Through the warm Australian night
Dance on the homestead verandah
To an old time fiddle tune
There’s going to be an old time party
With Christmas coming soon
Ohh, the kids are hanging STOCKINGS
And there’s one for me and you
Santa’s wearing moleskins
And a shirt of faded blue
The kitchen tables loaded
With ham and chicken too
Welcome all the neighbors in
Were putting on a do
South Park
String up the lights and light up the trees
We’re gonna make some revelry
Spirits are high, so I can tell
It’s Christmastime in hell!
Demons are nicer as you pass them by
There’s lots of demon toys to buy
The snow is falling, and all is well
It’s Christmastime in hell!
There goes Jeffrey Dahmer
With a festive Christmas ham
After he has sex with it
He’ll eat up all he can
And there goes John F Kennedy
Caroling with his son
Reunited for the holidays
God bless us, everyone!
Everybody has a happy glow
Let’s dance in blood, and pretend it’s snow
Even Mao Tse Tung is under the spell
It’s Christmastime in hell!
Satan: Adolf, here’s a present for you!
Adolf: Oh? Ein Tannenbaum!
Satan: Yes, Ein Tannenbaum!
God cast me down from heaven’s door
To rule in hell forever-more
But now I’m kinda glad that I fell
‘Cause it’s Christmastime in hell!
Here’s a rack to hang the STOCKINGS on
We still have to shop for Genghis Khan
Michael Landon’s hair looks swell
It’s Christmastime in hell!
There’s Princess Diana
holding burning mistletoe
Over poor Gene Siskel’s head
Just watch his weenie grow!
For one day we all stop burning
and the flames are not so thick
All the screaming and the torture stops
As we wait for old St Nick!
CR CHRISTMAS WITH THE DEVIL CR
Spinal Tap
The elves are dressed in leather
And the angels are in chains
(Christmas with the Devil)
The sugar plums are rancid
And the STOCKINGS are in flames
(Christmas with the Devil)
There’s a demon in my belly
And a gremlin in my brain
There’s someone up the chimney hole
And Satan is his name
The rats ate all the presents
And the reindeer ran away
(Christmas with the Devil)
There’ll be no Father Christmas
‘Cause it’s evil’s holiday
(Christmas with the Devil)
No bells in Hell
No snow below
Silent night, violent night
So come all ye unfaithful
Don’t be left out in the cold
You don’t need no invitation, no…
Your ticket is your soul
By the Chimney With Care 
January 7, 2009 at 11:36 am
[…] I can say is it was well worth the wait! Amazing to look at, and stroll through. They were still playing Christmas carols, which, in this case was a very nice thing. And although it was great fun to walk through with a […]