music-notesHere, in alphabetical order, are the partial lyrics to all the songs I could find that contain a mention of Christmas stockings.

I’ve marked the line before and after, and highlighted the word “stocking” for easy reference.

DISCLAIMER: Please be aware of several things.

(1) This list may not be complete. If you know of any songs I have missed, please e-mail me or post a comment and I’ll get your song added to the list.

(2) I haven’t heard of a lot of these songs . . . but I trusted my ever-knowledgeable Internet.

(3) Some of these songs contain profanity or objectionable imagery. I honestly went back and forth about whether or not to include them, but as I do not favor or condone censorship under any circumstances, it seemed hypocritical to then censor my own blog because some reader might be offended. I’ll mark the offending lyrics with a big CR for “creepy” or “crude” so you can know to skip them if you think they will offend . . . but please know they are included. If you’re perusing this site with your kids, just be aware.

(4) There are 38 songs total, so I’ve broken he list into 3 parts: 1-12, 13-24, and 25-38.

<!–[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE <![endif]–><!–[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]–>I’m Coming Home for Christmas

It’s Christmastime Again

Jolly Old St. Nicholas

Little Christmas Stocking With a Hole in the Toe

Merry Christmas, Everybody

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

CR Merry Freakin’ Christmas

CR Merry Fucking Christmas

Santa Baby

Santa Claus Is Back in Town

Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town

Santa Got Arrested

Up on the Housetop

<!–[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE <![endif]–><!–[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]–>I ONLY WANT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS

Alan Jackson

The snow is falling

It’s Christmas Eve

Presents are wrapped

Under the tree

Is there one for me?

I only want you for Christmas, baby

I don’t need nothing else

I only want you for Christmas, baby

Tie a ribbon ’round yourself

Oh, tie a ribbon ’round yourself

I ain’t gonna write no letter

Send north to the pole

Cause what I’m wanting this year

Saint Nick don’t need to know

I only want you for Christmas, baby

I don’t need nothing else

I only want you for Christmas, baby

Tie a ribbon ’round yourself

Oh, tie a ribbon ’round yourself

So put on your Christmas STOCKINGS

I’ll find that mistletoe

Let’s get into the holiday spirits

And honey ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho

I’M COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

The Beu Sisters

Snowman angels, ribbons, bows

Dreams of cocoa and mistletoe

Seems like years since I’ve been home

Can’t bare to spend another Christmas alone

Packed my bags, I’m on my way

Heading home for the holidays

Crowded airports, flights delayed

Should’ve hitched a ride on Santa’s sleigh

Can’t wait to see their faces

Told ’em I couldn’t make it

But I’m gonna be there soon

Twinkle lights and caroling

Candy-cane-shaped sugar cookies

I’m coming home for Christmas

I’m coming home for Christmas

Friends and family trim the tree

Don’t put the star on top without me

Cause I’m coming home for Christmas

I’m coming home, it’s Christmastime

Bundled up like an Eskimo

Sitting in the snow

This little town is all the glow

While Jingle Bells is on the radio

Just a block away from memory lane

Snowflakes frosting windows

Neighbors waving happy holidays

While I slip and slide

Up the icy walkway

Can’t wait to see their faces

Ring the bell my heart is racing

Don’t even know their

Gonna see me soon

Standing in the doorway

The door swings open, Merry Christmas

They cover me with hugs and kisses

The little ones say a Christmas wish

Came true and mine did too

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

I’m finally home for Christmas

Friends and family trim the tree

Let’s put the star on and hang the STOCKINGS

I’m finally home for Christmas

Can’t believe I’m home for Christmastime

I’m finally home for Christmastime

IT’S CHRISTMASTIME AGAIN

Jessica Simpson

I see the lights are shining, against the winter sky

Above the rooftops, reindeer are flying

Bells are ringing through the night, I look outside

There’s a sleigh ride, a choir begins to sing

Stars gleaming, kids are dreaming

Of what the day will bring

In the fallen snow under the mistletoe

I need you here with me when I hold you close

Baby, take my hand in wonderland

Cause it’s Merry Christmas time again

It’s Christmastime again

A wreath on every front door, lights hung for all to see

Warm cider by the fire, STOCKINGS for you and me

Kids a gift for Santa, milk and cookies by the tree

I’m wondering what will he bring, this year on Christmas eve

Well there’s nothing like being home for Christmas

It’s a wonderful time of year

And there’s just one thing that’s noticed missing

Baby I’d feel that something’s missing

If you’re not here

JOLLY OLD ST. NICHOLAS

Traditional

Jolly old St. Nicholas, lean your ear this way!

Don’t you tell a single soul, what I’m going to say;

Christmas Eve is coming soon; now, you dear old man,

Whisper what you’ll bring to me; tell me if you can

When the clock is striking twelve, when I’m fast asleep,

Down the chimney broad and black, with your pack you’ll creep;

All the STOCKINGS you will find hanging in a row;

Mine will be the shortest one, you’ll be sure to know

Johnny wants a pair of skates, Susie wants a dolly;

Nellie wants a story book; she thinks dolls are folly;

As for me, my little brain isn’t very bright;

Choose for me, old Santa Claus, what you think is right

LITTLE CHRISTMAS STOCKING WITH A HOLE IN THE TOE

Unknown

In the house upon the hill

Hanging on the window sill

Was a little Christmas stocking with a hole in the toe

And when Santa came to call

At the house upon the hill

He saw the Christmas STOCKING hanging in the candle glow.

Santa chuckled to himself

As he walked across the floor

To the little Christmas stocking with a hole in the toe

And he saw a note was pinned

The place where it was torn

He read the note

then turned his head

so teardrops would not show

The note said, “Santa I am just a little boy

And I have everything that could bring me yuletide joy

When you fill my stocking, if it should overflow

I won’t mind if something pushes through the hole in the toe.”

Santa went back to his sled

And he loaded up his pack

Then he went back down the chimney and his heart was oh so glad

And he filled the stocking until no more he could pack

‘Cause the note said, “Please, dear Santa

Could you make the gifts for mom & dad?”

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY

Slade/Oasis/Westlife

Are you hanging up a STOCKING on the wall?

It’s the time that every Santa has a ball

Does he ride a red-nosed reindeer?

Does he turn up on his sleigh?

Do the fairies keep him sober for a day?

So here it is, Merry Christmas

Everybody’s having fun

Look to the future now

It’s only just begun

Are you waiting for the family to arrive?

Are you sure you got the room to spare inside?

Does your granny always tell ya that old songs are the best?

Then she’s up and rock ‘n’ rollin’ with the rest

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS

NSync

We’ve been waiting all year for this night

When the snow is glistening on the trees outside

All the STOCKINGS are hung by the fire side

Waiting for Santa to arrive

And all the love will show

Cuz everybody knows it’s Christmas time

And all the kids will see

The gifts under the tree

It’s the best time of year for the family

It’s a wonderful feeling

Feel the love in the room from the floor to the ceiling

It’s that time of year

Christmas time is here and

With a message from above

God sends you His love and

Everything’s OK

Merry Christmas

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Happy Holidays

CR MERRY FREAKIN’ CHRISTMAS CR

Calibretto 13

Well, I woke up that night to take a pee

Decided to look under the tree

Well, what did I see? Oh it was he, stuffing the STOCKING for me

It was my dad

He said, “Son, you’re going on 19

It’s time to face reality

There is no Santa Claus

Face it if you can,

Cause Santa Claus was really just a man”

Santa Claus was just a man

Santa Claus was just a man

Why was I lied to?

It’s so hard to understand

Santa Claus was just a man

Santa Claus was just a man

Now I’m very mad

‘cause Santa Claus was really just my dad

He sat me down that morning to explain

But all the words he told me were in vain

Because the lie that I was living

Had led me to believe

That Santa Claus was more than just a dream

He was my dad

Santa Claus was just a man

Santa Claus was just a man

CR MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS CR

South Park/Mr. Garrison

I heard there is no Christmas in the silly Middle East

No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,

They have different religious beliefs

They believe in Muhammad and not in our holiday

And so every December I got to the Middle East and say

Hey there Mr. Muslim, merry fucking Christmas

Put down that book, the Koran, and here’s some holiday wishes

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s Jesus’ birthday

So get off your heathen Muslim ass and fucking celebrate

There is no holiday season in India I’ve heard

They don’t hang up their STOCKINGS and that is just absurd

They’ve never read a Christmas story

They don’t know what Rudolph is about

And that is why in December I’ll go to India and shout

Hey there Mr. Hinduist, merry fucking Christmas

Drink eggnog and eat some beef and pass it to the missus

In case you haven’t noticed its Jesus’ birthday

So get of your heathen Hindu ass and fucking celebrate

Now I heard that in Japan everyone just lives in sin

They pray to several gods and put needles in their skin

On December 25th all they do is eat a cake

And that is why I go to Japan and walk around and say

Hey there Mr. Shintoist, merry fucking Christmas

God is gonna kick your ass, you infidelic pagan scum

In case you haven’t noticed, there’s festive things to do

So let’s all rejoice for Jesus and merry fucking Christmas to you

On Christmas day

I travel around the world and say

Down with Krishnas, Buddists, and all you atheists too

Merry fucking Christmas to you

SANTA BABY

Eartha Kitt/Jhene/Madonna/Kylie Minogue/Mindy McCready/B2K/Faith Evans/Carter’s Chord/Vonda Shepard

Santa, baby, fill my STOCKING with a duplex, and checks

Sign your X on the line, Santa, baby

And hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree

With some decorations bought at Tiffany’s

I really do, believe in you

So let’s see if you, believe in me

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing

A ring . . . and I don’t mean on the phone

Santa baby, please hurry down the chimney tonight

SANTA CLAUS IS BACK IN TOWN

Elvis Presley/Dwight Yoakam/Tricia Yearwood

Well, it’s Christmastime, pretty baby

And the snow is fallin’ on the ground (Christmas, Christmas)

Well, it’s Christmas time, pretty baby

And the snow is on the ground (Christmas, Christmas)

Well, you be a real good little girl

Santa Claus is back in town. (Christmas, Christmas)

Got no sleigh with reindeer, no sack on my back

You’re gonna see me comin’ in a big black Cadillac

Whoa, oh, it’s Christmas time, pretty baby

And the snow is fallin’ on the ground (Christmas, Christmas)

Well, you be a real good little baby

Santa Claus is back in town.

(Christmas, Christmas. Christmas)

Hang up your pretty STOCKINGS, turn off the light

Santa Claus is comin’ down your chimney tonight

SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN

Traditional

I just came back from a lovely trip along the Milky Way

I stopped off at the North Pole to spend the holiday

I called on old dear Santa Claus to see what I could see

He took me to his workshop and told his plans to me

Now Santa is a busy man – he has no time to play

He’s got millions of STOCKINGS to fill on Christmas day

You’d better write your letter now and mail it right away

Because he’s getting ready – his reindeers and his sleigh

You better watch out, you better not cry

You better not pout, I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

Santa Claus is coming to town

Santa Claus is coming to town

He’s making a list and checking it twice

He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice

Santa Claus is coming to town

Santa Claus is coming to town

Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake

He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake

Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry

You better not pout, I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

Santa Claus is coming to town

Santa Claus is coming to town

SANTA GOT ARRESTED

The Arrogant Worms

There won’t be any presents this Christmas

No goodies in your STOCKING

The milk and cookies that the children left out

Will be left untouched beside the sink

The reindeer will be staying in their pens this year

The elves haven’t built anything

‘Cause Santa got arrested

Last Christmas Day

Police got calls on 911

About a red-suited man who weighed a ton

There was a clear trail of evidence pointing north

This was the seventh time it happened on December 24th

The Mounties reached the North Pole

They found it was outside their jurisdiction

They called up Interpol, the Finnish police

To facilitate the suspect’s extradition

They knocked on the door of a well-marked shop

With a warrant for the owner’s apprehension

Then Santa got arrested

Christmas Day

Santa was charged with B&E

His council advised he plead guilty

There was footage of the crime running on TV

And photographs of little children sitting on his knee

The judge expressed concern about the risk of recidivism

His sentence was commuted

He got a bond of non-association with the elves

And his reindeer license was suspended

He says he’s giving up all of his former life

And now he wants to be a dental assistant

‘Cause Santa got arrested

UP ON THE HOUSETOP

Traditional

Up on the housetop, reindeer pause

Out jumps good old Santa Claus

Down through the chimney with lots of toys

All for the little ones’ Christmas joys

Ho, ho ho! Who wouldn’t go?

Ho, ho ho! Who wouldn’t go?

Up on the housetop, click, click, click

Down through the chimney with good Saint Nick

First comes the STOCKING of little Nell

Oh, dear Santa fill it well

Give her a dolly that laughs and cries

One that will open and shut her eyes

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?

Up on the housetop, click, click, click

Down through the chimney with good Saint Nick

Next comes the stocking of little Will

Oh, just see what a glorious fill

Here is a hammer and lots of tacks

A whistle and a ball and a whip that cracks

Ho, ho ho! Who wouldn’t go?

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?

Up on the housetop, click, click, click

Down through the chimney with good Saint Nick

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